date: Thursday, February 24, 2005 @ 3:35 am
title: Isolation
For some reason, God sometimes can be quite nasty to me. Sometime, I think He abit unfair to me.. But I know, it's all for my own good. Everytime, when people are sort of enjoying manifesting, I'm in terrible pain. Last Sunday, when I manifested, it was my shoulders on fire like burning coal being secured on them. And God said that it was to heal the scars of my burden. Den last week after that, the week was full of demanding burden for me to carry and run the race. BLEAH!!!
However, I grew spiritually stronger than the week before. Even though, I had insufficient sleep. 2 hours everyday. Soaking in God's presence just empowered me for the next day. Den the Sunday that just passed. God was really testing my patience. He did weird things on me and gave me weird prophesies. And I know why liao. God reminded me that I once said that Jesus was crazy to do this and that, den... ... Now I'm the walking example of craziness for Jesus. Darn!! But I do enjoy it though.. "You can't swallow what I'm going to do with you this week." He spoke.
Den when I manifested, it was though my stomach was full of butterflies and I was about to puke. So it does click. 'What happenes to you spiritually, you will feel it physically too as well.'
Really, the third day of the week... I can't swallow liao. Monday: I wanted to pon RocMoc den God said, "NO NO NO! you better go!" I missed the chance to spend time with my friends after the almond jelly lunch. However, the training was very slack and had a final great time with my band of RocMoc brothers and sisters. We took photos as well. Tuesday: I wanted to go fly kite with them again. Den God reminded me that I made a promise to drop by church once a week. I smiled den manifested in school during break time. I was drunked in the spirit for once. Super siao crazy. Den I decided to go church with an opened heart.. Woo!!! I learnt quite alot during that day about church matters, so prayer list longer liao.Wednesday: I wanted to join them again for the final debates competition and at least spent sometime with them and pon class. Den God warned, " You better go and study! And go for PSH cell! Dun forget abt your Guitar!" I did go for cell. Den it was evangelism. Cool!!! I was too early to judge God for His pressing on me. I paired with Dennis. Knew him better and also met another guy. Phew... Thursday: I want to follow my friends to crash St Andrew JC and I know He's going to say no. But not confirm yet, I will chat with Him and see what He says later.
So you see. Follow Jesus and put down selfish ambitions and carry the cross. Say say easy lar, but when action comes.. HAHAhaaa.. You will know liao. Den will be NATO!!! >.<Let me share more on what God spoke to me. So let me tell you.. Manifesting for me is so much of chatting with God and a bit of screaming and shouting. Ha! Very common though.. I always do that! When I was praying.. den God asked me,
"Are you willing to just receive this after all the sowing in your sister(s) (in christ/ others), 'thank you for taking care of my wife(s) ever since you knew her(them).' and remain single forever for me?"
YESSSSSSSSSSS...
Darn! :P
I made the promise. Den now.. I sort of lost interest in my eye candy!!! (only some people know.) By the way, her smile still kills me. As i'm so trouble whether to go with them tomorrow. I fell asleep while taking a short rest on my bed. Eeeek!Just woke up with chatboxs bombarding and blinking orange by the desktop. Ha!Time for prayer liao..
Yeeha!! :)
